In many cultures, respect for elders is a deeply held value, but it can also lead to paternalism that strips older adults of autonomy. My grandmother is perfectly capable of making her own decisions, yet family members often override her choices 'for her own good'. We say we value the elderly, but do we really let them live as they wish? On the other hand, some older people do need protection from scams or health risks. Where do we draw the line between care and control?