I've been married for twelve years, and while we've had our rough patches, I can't help but wonder if the constant advice to 'work on your marriage' is actually making things worse. My wife and I used to argue about small things—dishes, whose turn it was to take out the trash—but now we have scheduled 'relationship check-ins' and read self-help books together, and somehow the pressure to be perfect feels heavier than the arguments ever were. Is it possible that our grandparents, who just lived together without overthinking every conflict, had a healthier approach? Or am I just romanticizing a past that wasn't all that great? The divorce rate was higher back then too, so maybe this whole conscious coupling thing is a step forward, but I'm genuinely torn. Should we stop trying so hard and just let love be, or is the effort what keeps us together in the long run?